Top 5: One Timers
This Top 5 is considering movies you’ve watched once and never need to re-visit again, whether because it was a slog from start to finish, too emotional to subject yourself to again, or brings you rage just thinking about the title. There are absolutely films one can appreciate, be glad to watch once, but don’t need to experience again; on the other hand, there are films that are such a miss that one will actively avoid future contact. For this list, the film must have been viewed in its entirety, not seen again, and will not be seen again in the future.
Gibelwho Productions Presents One Timers:
5. Tomorrowland
4. The Birds
3. Black Swan
2. The Hateful Eight
A Clockwork Orange
Tomorrowland (2015): This film is based on an intriguing premise and has a promising mixture of elements - roots in Walt Disney’s humanistic vision of the future, a mystery that teens must investigate mixed with a sci-fi twist, and George Clooney (who is always interesting). However, the final third act is a true disappointment that leads to a message that I found extremely un-inclusive and elitist - and therefore, I am uninterested to re-visit again.
The Birds (1963): First of all, it must be stated that I’m not fond of birds as a species. They are fine from afar, watching them soar in the sky, but on the ground, pecking for food, and invading my space - they are terrors. So, on subject matter alone, this film has a black mark from the outset. However, even with that bias, I really enjoyed the start of the film and wanted to see where the romantic comedy between Tippi Hedren and Rod Taylor was headed! Once the tone turned to classic Hitchcockian suspense, combined with special effects that don’t hold up and the enormous bird population attacking en masse, I knew this wasn’t the film for me, nor would I need to subject myself to a re-watch...even once I get around to a full Hitchcock marathon.
Black Swan (2010): Deeply disturbing psychological thrillers are not my typical cup of tea, but one that explores a ballerina losing her grip on reality, unsure of what is real and what is fiction, pushed the film a bit over the line for me. Natalie Portman always puts in a worthy performance, but the stylized mise-en-scene, body horror, and the constant hallucinations left me unwilling to re-enter the dark work of white and black swans.
The Hateful Eight (2015): I mostly have respect for Tarantino, for his past films, for his writing, and putting women in the forefront of his stories. This film was released in a Roadshow format, which meant there was a formal intermission (ala days of film past), screened on 70mm film, and audience members were given an official program. This film started out with one of the most majestic shots Tarantino has committed to film, all combined to make me extremely excited! However, by the time the theater lights came up, there had been such outrageous and targeted abuse towards the woman in the film, I felt that my viewpoint of him, not only as a filmmaker, but also as a human, had shifted. Yes, almost everyone meets a violent end in this film, but only the woman is shown repeated trauma and more extreme violence. Thank u, next.
A Clockwork Orange (1971): I screened this film as part of my film school education, getting exposure to the cinematic influences on Steven Spielberg. Kubrick certainly was one of his inspirations and dystopian worlds is usually one of my most favorite genres of film. However, none of that will overcome my absolute fear of eyes. Everyone has their irrational fear (snakes, cliffs, birds), but my overwhelming fear is around eyes. And this film is most famous for a torture scene where the protagonists eyes are forced open to watch footage, forcing an assistant to occasionally drop moisture onto his exposed eyes. Nope, just nope. Never need to see that again. One and done.
Honorable Mention:
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016): DC films have struggled to compare to the critical and box office success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe for a multitude of reasons - and most of them are prominent in this film. Superman is dower, the villain is overacting, the story is convoluted, and the dialogue is terrible. The moment where this crystallizes is in the battle between Batman and Superman - they have been ferociously fighting and Batman is about to kill Superman (...really?), until he utters the name ‘Martha,’ which just HAPPENS to be both of their mother’s names (double, really?? Couldn’t come up with a different woman’s name, DC Universe???). Even though I was a Marvel Comics girl growing up, I’ve given the DC movies their fair shake and they just haven’t given the heart, humanity, and inventiveness that Marvel naturally infuses into their flicks. This isn’t a movie nor a Universe that I need to re-visit.
